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Excerpt: Have you read the 20 most ridiculous complaints made by holiday makers? (taken from research by Thomas Cook and ABTA.) A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate”. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room. “The beach was too sandy”…

Tags: air conditioning, foreigners, honeymoon, spanish people, thomas cook, topless sunbathing, tour operator

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Excerpt: The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as ‘Euro-English’. In the first year, ’s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will…

Tags: Add new tag, better life, british government, english spelling, european commission, european union, foreigners, governments, new language